How to Successfully Manage and Limit Your Child’s Screen Time
“This is so difficult!” You mutter to yourself for the 50th time today as you try to end your child’s screen time or brace yourself for your toddler’s meltdown after you take away the tablet.
Being a parent in today’s digital world comes with its fair share of unique challenges. From iPads and smartphones to video games and streaming platforms, screens have become an unavoidable part of our lives. And while technology can offer some benefits and serve as a reliable tool sometimes, it also raises serious concerns about its impact on our children’s emotional well-being, social development, and physical health. Excessive screen time has been linked to increased anxiety, difficulty in regulating emotions, reduced attention span, and sleep disturbances. Recognizing these effects only stresses the importance of creating a balanced routine where screen time is managed thoughtfully, prioritizing your child’s well-being and engagement in real-life activities.
In this article, we’ll discuss practical strategies to help you set boundaries around screen time and encourage your child to develop a healthier relationship with technology that supports growth, connection, and well-rounded development.
Why You Should Limit Your Child’s Screen Time
We’ve all heard the saying, “Too much of anything, no matter how good, is bad for you.” Well, in the case of technology, it can be harmful in ways we’re only beginning to understand with all the growing evidence. Technology itself isn’t the enemy; it’s a powerful tool that has revolutionized how we learn, connect, and explore the world. But when we grant it unconditional access into our children’s lives and let it rob them of their ability to experience the depth and humanness that the real, natural world offers, things can quickly spiral out of balance.
Let’s take a look at how unlimited screen time affects various aspects of your child’s development and why setting boundaries is crucial.
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Screens provide immediate rewards. The moment your child engages with a screen –at the click of a finger– they’re immediately rewarded with a response like instant access to their favorite video game or new episodes in their favorite shows. This constant stream of instant gratification trains children to anticipate immediate rewards with little to no effort, eventually leading to shortened attention span, impatience, and frustration when real-life goals and rewards take longer to achieve.
The real world is all about delayed gratification and life is full of situations where qualities such as patience, perseverance, resilience, self-control, and long-term planning are key. Children can struggle to develop these essential qualities when they get used to easy and constant access to instant gratification through screens.
The more they get, the more they want, and the more quickly they want it. This is the endless cycle of instant gratification, where each quick reward releases a hit of dopamine –the feel-good hormone– and reinforces the desire for more. So, Instead of learning to work through challenges, wait for rewards, or manage disappointment, they may become frustrated when things don’t happen immediately. This can make it harder for them to cope with real-world experiences like mastering a difficult skill, solving complex problems, or navigating social relationships.
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When screens become part of your child’s nighttime routine, it can impact their sleep patterns. Screen exposure, especially in the evening, disrupts melatonin production due to blue light, resulting in restless nights and tired, irritable days. This disruption is closely linked to behavioral issues such as inattention and aggression, particularly in preschool-aged children.
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The early years are crucial for brain development, but what happens when screens dominate your child’s environment during this critical period?
According to a study published in the Journal of American Medical Association Pediatrics (JAMA), screen time may be associated with delayed development in young children. Researchers analyzed data from nearly 8,000 children, tracking screen time at age 1 and developmental skills at ages 2 and 4. The study revealed that 1-year-olds exposed to more than four hours of screen time daily exhibited delays in communication and problem-solving skills by age 2. Also, excessive screen exposure was linked to delays in fine motor skills and social interactions at age 2, suggesting that unlimited screen time may negatively impact early cognitive and social development.
If your child spends most of their time engaging with devices that are designed to be highly entertaining and captivating, it can be challenging to get them involved in non-digital activities like playing with other children, reading, drawing, or exploring outdoors, all of which are essential for fostering imagination, creativity, problem-solving, and the development of essential social skills. A developing brain that is constantly stimulated loses its innate sense of curiosity, causing children to experience and express apathy or numbness when they unplug.
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Deep reading is so beneficial, especially for young, developing minds. Studies show that reading develops imagination, reflection, critical thinking, and vocabulary in a way that visual media such as video games and television do not. Screens are designed to deliver the maximum amount of information in the shortest possible time, prioritizing speed and efficiency over depth and comprehension. This teaches our children to be masters at skimming, scanning, and multitasking, skills that often come at the cost of deeper cognitive abilities like sustained attention, deep reflection, and critical thinking.
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In his book, The Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids - and How to Break the Trance, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras argues that devices like iPads, smartphones, and gaming consoles act as a form of “digital drug.” Unfortunately, the severity of considering screens equivalent to drugs is neither exaggerated nor overstated, as brain imaging research shows that screens affect the brain’s frontal cortex –the area responsible for executive functioning, including impulse control– in the same way that cocaine does. The overstimulation of the brain’s reward system and the release of dopamine at unusually high levels are key factors contributing to screen addiction; a cycle in which children crave more screen time to maintain these dopamine spikes, reinforcing compulsive behaviors.
This leads us to a fundamental question:
How Much Screen Time is Healthy for My Child?
The appropriate amount of screen time for children depends on their age and developmental stage. According to The American Academy of Pediatrics’ screen time guidelines, For children
Under 2 years: Avoid screens entirely, except for video chatting with family or caregivers.
Between 2 to 12 years: Find high-quality and age-appropriate programming (if you choose to introduce screen time.) Limit screen time to 1 hour daily and always watch or play together.
While these recommendations give you a base framework to start with, the emphasis should be on creating a balance that prioritizes your child’s physical activity, imaginative play, and face-to-face interactions. Also, the concern shouldn’t be just about how much time your child spends on screens, but also about the quality of content and whether screen use aligns with their developmental needs and family values.
One way to build a healthy screen time routine for your child is to create a “developmental checklist” to consider whether your child is engaged in activities important for healthy development. This checklist might include items such as time spent outdoors, socializing with peers, engaging in creative play, and developing motor skills. The goal here is to maintain a well-rounded daily routine that includes screen time as one small component rather than the centerpiece of your child’s day. Here is an example of a “developmental checklist”:
Is my child sleeping enough and eating a healthy balanced diet?
Are they getting some form of exercise every day?
Are they spending meaningful, screen-free time with family?
Are they maintaining friendships and engaging in social activities?
Are they completing their schoolwork and staying curious about learning?
Are they spending time on hobbies, crafts, or other creative outlets that they enjoy?
Are they able to transition away from screens without resistance?
Are they contributing to household tasks or chores appropriate for their age?
How to Successfully Manage and Limit My Child’s Screen Time?
After ensuring your child is engaging in a variety of daily healthy, developmental activities, the next step is to focus on creating a firm screen time routine where technology is mindfully used and always complements rather than replaces real-world activities. Here are some practical strategies to help you foster a balanced approach:
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Dr. Nicholas Kardaras emphasizes the importance of delaying screen exposure for toddlers and preschool-aged children, as their developing brains are particularly vulnerable to the hyper-stimulation screens provide. Young children thrive when engaging in activities that stimulate their senses and motor skills. That means “Lego instead of Minecraft, books instead of iPads, nature, and sports instead of TV” says Dr. Kardaras.
Instead of introducing digital devices early, let your child be a child. Give them opportunities to play, explore, socialize, create, use their imagination, and just watch the miracles of their developing minds unfold. These experiences lay the groundwork for innovative and critical thinking, emotional regulation, and problem-solving, skills that screens can hinder when introduced too soon.
Instead of introducing digital devices early, let your child be a child. Give them opportunities to play, explore, socialize, create, use their imagination, and just watch the miracles of their developing minds unfold. These experiences lay the groundwork for innovative and critical thinking, emotional regulation, and problem-solving, skills that screens can hinder when introduced too soon.
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We live in a time where digital devices often compete with our children for attention. For all the talk and evidence about children’s screen time, surprisingly little attention is paid to screen use by parents themselves, who now suffer from what experts call “distracted parenting.”
Imagine this: Your child is busy building a block tower on the living room floor. They’re focused, excitedly stacking each block higher, and they ask you to help them. You agree and join in, but you’re constantly checking your phone while you play. In a moment that was supposed to be shared, the distraction breaks the opportunity to deepen your connection with your child and model healthy, distraction-free family time.
Children are highly observant and tend to mimic adult behavior. If they see you constantly glued to your phone or binge-watching TV, they’re likely to adopt the same behavior. Being mindful of your own screen time use and modeling healthy screen habits are the most powerful tools you have as a parent to manage your child’s relationship with technology. You can try the following tips:
Deprioritize your phone.
Try not to keep it in your hand all of the time.
If you’re on your phone when your kid asks a question, set it down and look your child in the eye when you respond.
Keep certain times sacred (Dinner time, the hour before bed, or when sharing moments of connection with your children.)
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As a parent, it’s your job to encourage healthy behaviors and limit unhealthy ones. Being the parent means making difficult decisions that protect your child’s well-being, even if it means pushing back against their immediate desires. Children may resist them, but it’s important to remember that they rely on you to guide them, especially when it comes to habits that could shape their long-term health.
So you might need to set boundaries around technology, say “no” to certain apps, or establish tech-free zones in your home. While it can be challenging in this tech-filled world that we live in, it’s vital to maintain a firm but caring stance on how screens fit into your child’s life.
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One way to promote healthy technology use in your household is to establish clear, consistent rules and ensure everyone in the family is on the same page. These rules set expectations for how and when technology is used and provide a structure that helps prevent overuse while encouraging other meaningful activities.
Have an honest conversation with your kids about technology
Start by stating your concerns about technology using age-appropriate language. This might mean explaining how too much screen time can make it harder to sleep, concentrate, or have fun in other ways. Encourage your kids to share their feelings about screen time, what they enjoy most, and whether they notice any downsides. The goal behind the conversation is to work together and move forward as a team rather than directly enforcing rules and guidelines where your kids may feel controlled and unheard.
Set clear rules
After having an open discussion with your kids about technology, the next step is to set clear rules that align with your family’s values. These rules should address when, where, and how screens can be used. Here is an example:
When:
1 to 2 hours of daily screen time.
No screens are allowed during meals, an hour or two before bedtime, or first thing in the morning.
No technology during family activities.
Where:
No screens in bedrooms, bathrooms, or at the dinner table.
All screen activities should happen in shared spaces, such as the living room.
How:
Prioritize screen time for learning activities and high-quality programming.
Avoid mindless scrolling and decide ahead of time what to watch or play.
Encourage long-form content and avoid short-form content like TikToks and Reels.
Avoid multitasking like watching TV while eating, studying, or doing other activities.
Explain the ‘why’
Children are more likely to follow screen time rules when they understand the reasons behind them. This time, try to focus on the benefits of limiting screen time, such as:
“When we put our screens away during dinner, we get to talk and spend time together,”
“Limiting screen time helps make space for the things you love, like drawing or playing with friends.”
Helping your children see that these rules are for their well-being, not just restrictions, makes them more likely to cooperate and build healthier habits.
Monitor and use parental control apps when needed
Even with clear rules in place, kids may push boundaries, and that’s where monitoring comes in. Keep an eye on how, when, and what your children are consuming on their devices. For younger children, always make sure to only allow screen time when you are there to co-view or play with them. Parental control apps can also be a valuable tool, they allow you to set time limits, block inappropriate content, and monitor screen usage efficiently. However, It’s important to remind your child that your goal is not to invade their privacy but to ensure their safety online and help them develop healthy screen time habits.
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When setting screen time rules, you don’t want your child to feel helpless and controlled. Instead, empower them by offering choices within the limits you’ve established. For example, instead of enforcing a strict rule like, “You only get 1 hour on your tablet today,” you could say, “You have one hour of screen time today. Do you want to use it now or after lunch?” or you might ask, “Do you want to spend your screen time watching a show or playing a game?” You can also encourage your child to help create the rules or come up with a consequence when breaking them. This approach helps them feel more involved and cooperative. It also teaches accountability and independence in the long run.
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Technology is a powerful tool and teaching your child to use it responsibly is one of the most important skills you can instill in them. Personal responsibility with screens starts with understanding their impact and making choices that align with family values, health, and well-being. One way to teach personal responsibility is to encourage your child to have a “pre-screen time and post-screen time check-in.” This is a list of questions they can reflect on before and after using screens to assess their needs and feelings and stay mindful and responsible about their screen habits. For younger children, you might help them by asking and framing the questions in an age-appropriate way:
Pre-screen time check-in:
How am I feeling?
Do I need to eat?
Do I need to get some exercise?
Did I have enough sleep?
What task do I need to prioritize right now before using my screen time?
Do I have homework or chores I need to do?
What do I love to do?
Have I spent quality time with my family or friends?
Post-screen time check-in:
How do I feel after using my screen time?
Did the time I spent on screens align with my needs and family values?
What did I learn?
Was there something more enjoyable and fulfilling I could have done with this time?
Did I find it harder today to transition away from screens? What can I do next time to make it easier?
Teach your child that actions have consequences
Another way to teach personal responsibility is by connecting excessive screen use to natural consequences, such as feeling tired, missing out on other activities, or falling behind on homework. You can also set logical consequences like limiting screen time the next day if rules are not followed, or requiring your child to complete an offline activity before earning their next screen time session. By linking behavior directly to consequences, children learn the value of moderation and understand that their choices have an impact on their daily lives and well-being.
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As cliché as it may sound, the world is in desperate need of rediscovering the beauty of simple pleasures before screens became a dominant part of our lives. Encouraging your child to engage in activities like playing outdoors, creating crafts, reading books, or simply spending unstructured time with family helps them explore the depth of real-world experiences.
So take time to enjoy activities that don’t rely on technology. Build a fort out of blankets, bake cookies together, or go for a nature walk. Encourage them to use their imagination, invent games, or solve problems in hands-on ways. These activities not only build creativity, resilience, and a sense of wonder that screens alone can’t replicate, but also create a precious opportunity for real connection. Children need meaningful connections, such as physical touch, sustained eye contact, and heart-to-heart conversations to thrive emotionally and socially. These moments help your family build trust, develop secure attachments, and teach children to connect with the world in healthy, fulfilling ways.
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How many times have you seen a parent hand over their phone to a screaming toddler in a grocery store to keep them quiet? Or how many times have you done it yourself? We’ve all been there. Technology is an easy solution at the moment. It offers a quick fix to calm, distract, or entertain our kids when we’re overwhelmed and busy.
However, relying on screens as a babysitter comes at a cost. Research shows that frequent use of devices like smartphones and tablets as a go-to soothing strategy is associated with increased emotional dysregulation in kids. We are now finding that young children are self-soothing with a digital device in a doctor’s office rather than in the arms of a parent and anxious kids who may have a difficult time confronting their emotions are escaping with a screen. Over time, this can hinder their ability to develop resilience, emotional intelligence, and healthy coping mechanisms. That’s why, it’s important to treat technology as a tool only and remind your child that emotions are meant to be felt and processed, not escaped from. Instead of reaching for a screen in stressful situations, encourage your child to express themselves, find comfort in your presence, and use healthy coping mechanisms.
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There is no better master for innate creativity than a child compelled to entertain themselves. Parents often feel obligated to keep their little ones perpetually entertained and busy, worrying that boredom might lead to constant frustration and restlessness. However, boredom can be a great opportunity to foster imagination and emotional growth. Encourage your child to embrace downtime without relying on devices. Instead of immediately offering a screen to fill the silence, provide the necessary resources like books to read, board games to play, art supplies for creativity, or sports equipment they can play with.
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Expecting and preparing for pushback ahead of time is a vital part of setting new screen time limits and boundaries. It’s natural for children to resist changes that disrupt their routines, especially when those changes involve something as enticing and captivating as screens. However, it’s important to remember that pushback doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Setting boundaries as parents, even when they’re met with resistance, helps create a healthy environment where your child thrives safely and happily. So when pushback happens, try to:
Stay calm and compassionate.
Communicate clearly and consistently.
Listen actively to your child’s thoughts and opinions.
Love them all the way through their big feelings.
Stay strong with your boundary decision.
Remember that you can enforce a boundary while still offering comfort and support.
You Can Make a Change!
Many parents feel defeated when trying to limit their child’s screen time. They succumb to the idea that we live in a world where technology has taken over and there is nothing we can do about it. But the truth is, it’s never too late to reclaim balance and make meaningful changes. While the journey towards healthy, reduced screen time may seem challenging, it’s a worthwhile effort that can transform your family dynamic, improve your child’s development, and strengthen the aspects of their life that truly matter.
If you're a South Carolina parent or caregiver seeking professional support to better manage your child’s screen time, you can reach out to New Roots Counseling. We will work together to help you adapt more effective communication skills, create systems around screen time that will work for your family, and give you tools for maintaining them.
